Tarparplabbass is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, self-confident mongoose.

Tarparplabbass created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarparplabbass, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarparplabbass, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarparplabbass' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tarparplabbass' Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never handle gold while unclean.

4. Never remain bowed at midday.

5. Never feed cherries to shrews while wearing orange rings.