Hadxuccinfig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent guinea pig.

Hadxuccinfig created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadxuccinfig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hadxuccinfig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hadxuccinfig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hadxuccinfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not place coconuts upon stone.

3. Put Hadxuccinfig first in all things.

4. Hide from turquoise capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Never adorn your face with green markings.