Futbopfodstik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil chinchilla.

Futbopfodstik created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Futbopfodstik, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Futbopfodstik, she will remove you from existence.

Futbopfodstik's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Futbopfodstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near turtles while wearing magenta stockings.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.