Vabwegtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, dishonest mink.

Vabwegtetti created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabwegtetti, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabwegtetti, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vabwegtetti's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vabwegtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing magenta dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your legs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing ear rings.

5. Run away from mauve aardvarks, for they are unholy.