Artkapbap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, intelligent butterfly.

Artkapbap created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Artkapbap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artkapbap, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Artkapbap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Artkapbap's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Never wear yellow coats.

5. Never cross forests at midday.