Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, idiotic bear.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three great tits near walls.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Always share apples with strangers, but never with porpoises.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.