Armdaplab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical wolf.

Armdaplab created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armdaplab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Armdaplab, it will turn you into a rat.

Armdaplab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Armdaplab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Never bounce near foxes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.