Badlarptab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, tiresome monkey.

Badlarptab created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Badlarptab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Badlarptab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Badlarptab's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Badlarptab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near aardvarks while wearing yellow tights and balancing nine zinc spheres on your face.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. You must love Badlarptab.