Queegtadfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless hummingbird.

Queegtadfeb created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegtadfeb, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegtadfeb, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Queegtadfeb's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Queegtadfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume rice at dawn.

2. Queegtadfeb must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Never speak at dusk.