Nurlcitbap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, pitiless crane.

Nurlcitbap created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcitbap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlcitbap, it will not care at all.

Nurlcitbap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurlcitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

2. Never wear brown corsets.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never handle gold while unclean.

5. Always pray immersed in water.