Farkarfarnvad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, effective whale.

Farkarfarnvad created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farkarfarnvad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farkarfarnvad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Farkarfarnvad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Farkarfarnvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.