Dinvinstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, staggering donkey.

Dinvinstan created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinvinstan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dinvinstan, he will torture you forever.

Dinvinstan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dinvinstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

3. Dinvinstan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

5. Pray only in darkness.