Guttitsak is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish troll.

Guttitsak created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Guttitsak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Guttitsak, she will turn you into a goat.

Guttitsak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Guttitsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Never wear black coats on sacred days.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.