Tamdimtap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unfair naga.

Tamdimtap created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamdimtap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tamdimtap, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tamdimtap's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tamdimtap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Tamdimtap on top of all buildings.

2. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.