Cabnanster is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omnipotent cat.

Cabnanster created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabnanster, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cabnanster, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cabnanster's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Cabnanster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare carrots while wearing dresses.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Do not take Cabnanster's name in vain.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Cabnanster in the centre of the settlement.