Tafcibkad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic seal.

Tafcibkad created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcibkad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tafcibkad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tafcibkad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tafcibkad's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Worship no other gods but Tafcibkad.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with envy.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Always obey Tafcibkad's priests.