Stikarnquam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omniscient jaguar.

Stikarnquam created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikarnquam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stikarnquam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Stikarnquam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Stikarnquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing orange skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stikarnquam.