Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered fairy.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut, it will not invite you to parties.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention hamsters.

2. Never sing in the presence of elders.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut on top of important buildings.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not place beans upon stone.