Loping is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful walrus.

Loping created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loping, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Loping, he will turn you into a hamster.

Loping's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Loping's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing fawn dresses and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

3. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never think ill of sick cats.