Stanhinpod Tifpitzig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless badger.

Stanhinpod Tifpitzig created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanhinpod Tifpitzig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stanhinpod Tifpitzig, he will destroy your favourite star.

Stanhinpod Tifpitzig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Stanhinpod Tifpitzig's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.