Fenzenvagcar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless dolphin.

Fenzenvagcar created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Fenzenvagcar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fenzenvagcar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fenzenvagcar's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fenzenvagcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove jumpers before touching gold.

2. Do not place rice upon stone.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.