Listhenboss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty giraffe.

Listhenboss created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Listhenboss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Listhenboss, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Listhenboss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Listhenboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Never handle lead while unclean.

3. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Never approach rivers carrying bone.