Gomquagsag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, selfish rhinoceros.

Gomquagsag created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomquagsag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gomquagsag, she will destroy your home planet.

Gomquagsag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gomquagsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to sheep while wearing shorts.

2. Gomquagsag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect five silicon sculptures of Gomquagsag on top of important buildings.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.