Tamhabcutzag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, quiet goblin.

Tamhabcutzag created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamhabcutzag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tamhabcutzag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tamhabcutzag's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tamhabcutzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven ducks in one place.

2. Do not leap at forests.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tamhabcutzag.

5. Always wear cyan.