Vonknellsisyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust walrus.

Vonknellsisyarl created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonknellsisyarl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vonknellsisyarl, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vonknellsisyarl's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vonknellsisyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to moths while wearing white stockings.

2. Never chant in the presence of manatees.

3. Do not keep six horses in a large pit.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never allow eagles to sleep beneath your roof.