Dinyamvon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, kind aardvark.

Dinyamvon created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dinyamvon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dinyamvon, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dinyamvon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dinyamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Do not place onions upon stone.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never mention geese.