Begzenjam is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest giraffe.

Begzenjam created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begzenjam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Begzenjam, it will ignore you.

Begzenjam's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Begzenjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Never eat gooseberries.