Futdogced is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking tortoise.

Futdogced created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Futdogced, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Futdogced, he will refuse to believe in you.

Futdogced's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Futdogced's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven snakes approach from the west.

2. Do not name children after badgers.

3. Never hop in the presence of squirrels.

4. Never record names.

5. Always obey Futdogced's priests.