Funbatcem is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish hamster.

Funbatcem created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Funbatcem, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Funbatcem, he will turn you into a mouse.

Funbatcem's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Funbatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Funbatcem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never stain your legs with purple.