Kadsassaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-confident armadillo.

Kadsassaf created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadsassaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadsassaf, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kadsassaf's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kadsassaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to three before sleeping.

2. Never feed apples to whales while wearing ear rings.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.