Quillcinwat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, witty donkey.

Quillcinwat created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillcinwat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quillcinwat, she will come to you in dreams.

Quillcinwat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quillcinwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to cats while wearing violet corsets.

2. Manatees are not to be trusted.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not record signs concerning asteroids.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with fawn.