Dog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart goose.

Dog created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Dog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dog, he will manifest in front of you.

Dog's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dog's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Never prepare cucumbers during summer.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not wear boots marked with purple.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.