Yartcabgam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring cat.

Yartcabgam created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartcabgam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yartcabgam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yartcabgam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yartcabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four horses in a large pit.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Hide from cyan seals for they are unholy.