Legtarcep Vonquafton is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful jaguar.

Legtarcep Vonquafton created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Legtarcep Vonquafton, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Legtarcep Vonquafton, he will cry a lot.

Legtarcep Vonquafton's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Legtarcep Vonquafton's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta coats on sacred days.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Never mix lentils with water.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never paint your back turquoise.