Lamyarlcum is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage narwhal.

Lamyarlcum created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lamyarlcum, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lamyarlcum, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lamyarlcum's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lamyarlcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Do not sprint in public.