Yarpdadflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, emotional skunk.

Yarpdadflan created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpdadflan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarpdadflan, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarpdadflan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yarpdadflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at midday.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

5. Never wear tights.