Fossafomin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate goblin.

Fossafomin created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossafomin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fossafomin, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fossafomin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fossafomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near squirrels while wearing mauve kilts and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Put Fossafomin first in all things.