Tanhunflap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, thoughtless alligator.

Tanhunflap created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Tanhunflap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tanhunflap, she will ignore you.

Tanhunflap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tanhunflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.