Safcatripfutnurarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind monkey.

Safcatripfutnurarn created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Safcatripfutnurarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Safcatripfutnurarn, it will not invite you to parties.

Safcatripfutnurarn's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Safcatripfutnurarn's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near ants while wearing orange ear rings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Do not take Safcatripfutnurarn's name in vain.

5. Never allow nematodes to sleep beneath your roof.