Tarpparkhakjinkin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive tapir.

Tarpparkhakjinkin created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpparkhakjinkin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarpparkhakjinkin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tarpparkhakjinkin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tarpparkhakjinkin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven tin sculptures of Tarpparkhakjinkin on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Never handle platinum while unclean.