Nullsidhen is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy lion.

Nullsidhen created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Nullsidhen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nullsidhen, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Nullsidhen's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nullsidhen's Holy Commandments

1. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with porpoises.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

5. Run away if nine dogs approach from the south.