Janbonnurlhimbinflag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable octopus.

Janbonnurlhimbinflag created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janbonnurlhimbinflag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Janbonnurlhimbinflag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Janbonnurlhimbinflag's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Janbonnurlhimbinflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during summer.

2. Never mark doors with pink.

3. Do not take Janbonnurlhimbinflag's name in vain.

4. Do not kill grasshopers.

5. Always obey Janbonnurlhimbinflag's priests.