Pangfemteen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful wombat.

Pangfemteen created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Pangfemteen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangfemteen, she will have a low opinion of you.

Pangfemteen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Pangfemteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Do not take Pangfemteen's name in vain.

3. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Pangfemteen on top of all buildings.