Carwithun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, self-assured ferret.

Carwithun created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Carwithun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Carwithun, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Carwithun's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Carwithun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six great tits approach from the north.

2. Do not prepare corn while wearing rings.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

5. Do not drink alcohol.