Bogominvag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous lobster.

Bogominvag created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogominvag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bogominvag, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogominvag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bogominvag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight tin sculptures of Bogominvag on top of important buildings.

2. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near hamsters while wearing red ear rings.

4. Never gather seven manatees near bridges.

5. Do not prepare lentils while filled with anger.