Nabwipshav is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful turtle.

Nabwipshav created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Nabwipshav, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nabwipshav, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nabwipshav's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nabwipshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Nabwipshav loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

5. Always act with humility when addressing children.