Badsitteen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful pigeon.

Badsitteen created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badsitteen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Badsitteen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Badsitteen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Badsitteen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six porpoises approach from the west.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never hop in spring.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not gather at towers at midnight.