Yarppid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, able bear.

Yarppid created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarppid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarppid, he will turn you into a rock.

Yarppid's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yarppid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never adorn your legs with green markings.

3. Never gather five tapirs in one place.

4. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not speak about spinach.