Xucfatfom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart hydra.

Xucfatfom created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucfatfom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xucfatfom, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Xucfatfom's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xucfatfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Worship no other gods but Xucfatfom.

5. Never think ill of sick foxes.