Gutcisstip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, annoying goose.

Gutcisstip created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutcisstip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gutcisstip, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gutcisstip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gutcisstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.

2. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

3. Gutcisstip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutcisstip.